Hello, it’s been a while. I love writing and penning (typing) my thoughts down but I always quit things halfway. It’s so bad.
I’m just here at 2am as a tired, but carrying a heart filled to brim to process some thoughts here.
I feel that at this point of my life all I want to do is to hide behind God’s back and support Him. Whatever He’s doing, wherever He’s going I just want to follow. I want to take on the Father’s heart. I want to learn to rejoice and grief with people. I want to learn to be so present just like Jesus did when Lazarus was dead. He wept. Him, who knew everything, Him who knew Lazarus could be raised from the dead, wept. Because Jesus was so present.
I want to cheer people in my life on like how Jesus cheered me on when I was at my lowest. I want have people’s back like how Jesus would. I want to be happy just by giving and not wanting to receive. I don’t need any limelight, I want Jesus.
I want to stay hidden in this period of time. I want to be hidden in the heart of Yours. I know I’m safe there. But God my prayer is, I want to take on Your heart, the heart of a Father. I want to learn quiet strength, quiet courage.
This internship stint has showed me so much of your faithfulness and favour. You caught me just now. I whispered to myself “God, why are you so good.” You didn’t had to utter anything. “There’s is no reason why I’m good to you” whether I’m empty handed, my hands filled, my hands cleaned, my hands filthy, my pocket filled, my pocket empty, seasons change but You don’t and I’m so glad.
Your lovingkindness left me speechless. Even to my toughest day, and I will still use my last breath to whisper “God is good.”