These days I found myself sitting at the feet of Jesus — my favourite Companion
I feel like I’m diluting who He is when I say He’s my companion. But at the same time I’m not, because He can be a companion when He wants to be, or when I need one, He can be my Father, He can be my King. Not that He changes His identity all the time but that He can be all of that all at the same time. Just when I open my heart and soul to see.
Companion also means: a person whom I spent a lot of my time with
Honestly, I don’t really spend a lot of time with Jesus but He’s my favourite companion.
These days, I feel like I’m just at winter. Waiting for spring to arrive. But I don’t want to camp out in a cave just waiting for spring to arrive and I know I’m not. But the cold is getting to me, it bites here and there. But I always find myself being safe and warm every time I turn my eyes on Jesus.
After a day at work, I just feel like the weight of the world is upon my shoulder. I feel so heavy even when nothing happens. Somehow, I think it’s the effect of having nothing to do at work that causes my brain activity to be so active. But on the other side, this had been a trying season for me. I think it’s getting better, my head is getting clearer, my heart is beginning to not keep yearning and yelling to be understood but to understand more, my ears shuts a little to unedifying words, my mouth shuts a little to what the bible quote Ephesians 4:29 — don’t say stupid stuff, say encouraging stuff in layman terms.
I’m doing well. The Father is delighted. I constantly have to try to remind myself that. every time I come in touch with the Father, all I want to do is to just cry my heart out and do nothing. Because I know He’s the only one, ONLY one who truly listens out to my heart cry, my needs, my wants, my concerns, my worries, my anxiousness and all that I have to say and pour out. The good and the bad. Regarding ministry or not. He listens and takes it all, not leaving out any part. But continue teaching me, not giving up. Continues being delighted in me because of who I am and that is His daughter and not what I do.
If His love were to be on par with what I’ve did, it’ll never never EVER come close.
But I’m glad He calls me His daughter, and as for me “I will always hope in Your faithfulness”.